I am mad, PERIOD!!!

I always talk about this topic very openly. I have so many concerns when it comes to periods, monthlys, menstruation, mensies whatever you choose to call it. If you are not about this topic and you still feel that it’s taboo please stop reading now and spare me the judgment.

Here is why I am mad; I have beed suffering from dysmenorrhea for the past 12 years, I have been to the emergency room because of it a number of times, there is no actual treatment for it, I have chucked so many pain killers because the doctors kept giving me tablets schedule 3+ to help me get through the pain, I had to stop some of the meds because my liver wasn’t having it, contraceptive pills were my option but that’s just a whole other taboo we can talk about another day, then there’s is the female doctor who down played my pain because she only had a bearable discomfort during her period. By now if you don’t understand why I am mad I don’t know man re-read that paragragh.

I hate periods, hate doesn’t start to explain the way i feel about periods, I loathe periods. If you have a deeper word than hate please help me by commenting below because I need to know. I do not understand how about 40% of women in the world suffer from severe period pains but all they have for us is feminax, nurofen, ibuprofen, naproxen, anti-inflammatory pills, that amazing injection they give you at the hospital and whatever else you know (hook a sister up). How is it that so many women are still suffering silently, they unable to get proper treatment. I used to finish a 20 pack of pills in a day just so that I could pass out, sleep and not feel the pain even just for an hour until the toilet called (not healthy I know but it’s tiring, this being in pain thing)

I am mad. Every month I get anxiety and mini depressed just thinking of the fact that I have to go on my period. Go ahead call me dramatic but I have thought of how just dying would be peaceful and painless as I am sitting on the toilet because of diarrhoea and holding a bucket vomiting my insides out. It doesn’t help that the distant whiff of food makes me feel nauseous meaning I cannot eat anything for a day or two because it just won’t go down. I am a brown girl fam, not a yellow bone or anything like that, but when my period comes I go pale, ghostly. It’s that time when I really don’t care anymore because the pain is excruciating. Every time after my pains pass it feels like I have been doing some serious core workout because of all the retching. I want to cry just thinking about it.

I am mad because monthly I feel like there is a blunt saw cutting through my pelvis, fists punching me in the stomach, my lower spinal cord being violently jerked inside of me and do not get me started on the proctalgia fugax. It doesn’t help that I have to explain myself to people who feel like the whole topic is inappropriate and all they want to do is melt into the ground. How is there still no solution? You can’t say contraceptive pill is a solution because the moment your body gets used to it you are back to square one. Do not get me started on the complications. It’s not right that I am 28 and I am on the low envying my mother going through menopause.

I am mad because this whole being a woman thing is proving to be a monthly challenge I am unwilling to accept. I have enough on my plate already. You can blame it on my hormones all you want but I am sure that severe period pain is not good for the mental or physical health. Lastly, I am mad because I haven’t found how to make a natural morphine.

a.mac